I thought after my last post that it was incomplete in that it told only half of my first time story. That was my first full experience as a spanker it would still be sometime before I had a true one as a spankee.
Like many in the community I had played games as a child and was fascinated by spanking in the media. I held and still hold each of these little instances that stimulated my fascination but my last post was my first full on experience. I have always been a fairly open person even too open often with the notable exception of my fetish for spanking. Over my life I have come to not be too concerned with other opinions of my in that I accept there will be those on both sides of the fence so to speak and some undecided. Still it took a long time to get there and even today with a more accessible community and even some mainstream references I am still protective about my role or roles. I am explaining because one I warned you I ramble and two it set the scene. It was a great deal easier to test the waters with women a top and I was still too insecure to reveal a submissive side for fear of being labeled a freak. After my first experience I would have a few more over the intervening years as a spanker in varying scenes. As the spanker if things went wrong I could always pass it off as a joke, sexual playing or apologize basically past it off definitely not something I was into. I would not be spanked seriously and in earnest until I was 21. I was slim, athletic and very boyish looking but tall. Note I have decided rather than try to come up with pseudonyms I will just assign random letters for names.
I had been dating the same girl “J” for two years at the time and she had left our small city to go to the big city for college and I stayed back still deciding what to do with my life while I worked. J was fantastic person who happened to have a wonderful rear end that was pert and perfectly captivating to me. I tested and hinted over our time together until one night we were laughing and wrestling around and pulled her over my lap with disastrous results. It was almost the end of the relationship and at the time I was very afraid of losing her. We recovered moved on but I never broached the subject again. When J moved away we discussed whether to stay together or not and decided to give it a try as neither of us wanted to see anyone else. We only saw each other once a month but talked frequently on the phone.
The long phone calls led to a new level of intimacy which in turn led to my incredibly brave and startling revelation that is was in to spanking. Okay so it was incredibly brave and startling to me but I remember J’s response as “yes I know”. J was amazing as usual accepting me for me but told me that she was not into it. I knew from before that she was not into being spanked but I asked if she would be willing to spank me holding my breath and it seemed to me my heart waiting to hear her voice. J thought for a moment and then told that she would be willing if I wanted to but was a little afraid of hurting me which she did not want to do. I can not describe how I felt and to some I am sure I do not have to as they know but this was a far bigger step for me and I was to say the least excited. We made plans for the next time I would visit because she had her own place in the city.
To be continued
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