There are limits and then there are limits.

So I was reading http://ourbottomsburn.blogspot.com/ about how one partner’s limits are heavy short spankings with a paddle and the other partner’s preference is for long spankings starting slowly and finishing strong as it were.  This got me thinking a bit and so I wanted to relay my thoughts and hopefully hear some others.  I like giving longer spankings with a good build up because of my penchant for erotic or sexy play.  I have given disciplinary spankings which tend toward short and are definitely more intense beginning to end.  On the flip side I like the same I guess and have surprised myself at my tolerance when in the right hands or brush.   I would not describe myself as particularly masochistic even though I to admit I do enjoy the sting and discomfort of a spanking it is the scene as a whole including the endorphin and dopamine reaction that stimulates me.  I would describe myself as a sadist even less.  I enjoy the play and stimulation of a partner but not the inflicting of the pain itself.  I have dabbled in other forms of play truly liking fetish wear but I shy away from severe pain play.  I can and have given some very hard spankings but only knowing that is what my partner wants and can tolerate.  In the end ;) I am a booty guy and a spanko.

Now be involved or seeking out the spanking scene one easily comes in contact with other parts of the BDSM world and I am no exception.  When it comes to other people and there preferences in the spanking realm or in the greater BDSM community I have always tried to take an approach of acceptance.  I have things I really like, things I have enjoyed, things I am open to, things I do not like, those I have not thought about at all, some that bother me and finally some that make me scratch my head but I have always thought that for the most part what competent consenting adults do is their prerogative.  This is why I find it a bit funny when I meet judgmental people in the various communities considering we are all still somewhat outside the mainstream.  My limits are part of the reason I have said that I could not live in a D/D lifestyle relationship I do not have the energy or the commitment for it.  I am also a big believer in, if not always the best at practicing strong communication.  That is the trouble with limits it is not good to exceed them but it can also be bad if they are never approached or pushed.  Everyone has limits but our best experiences are often the times we are very close to them.  Of course limits change over time for better or worse.  Even writing this blog is pushing my limits and I am not sure where it will lead which is kind of exciting.  One thing is sure that when we find we are past our limits it can be very unpleasant.

I do find the openness expressed on many of the blogs comforting and the ideas often intriguing.  I frequently enjoy reading about activities that I find exciting but are some what beyond or even far past my limits.  I think it is normal to fantasize about things you might not be comfortable doing but let me know I could be wrong.  I have about reached my limit with this entry but I will end with the fact that I see limits important to acknowledge and respect but also know they are moving targets so keep talking.